


Back for Good

by rotg5311



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bisexual Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester Flirting, Dean Winchester In Love, Dean gets Cas a guinea pig, Dean makes Cas another mixtape, Destiel - Freeform, M/M, Oblivious Castiel, POV Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, if destiel doesnt happen sam will flip a table
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-27
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-07-18 04:48:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16111133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rotg5311/pseuds/rotg5311
Summary: Michael's gone, everyone is back in their own world's, Jack tries to fill big shoes. Sam, Dean, and Cas decide to take some time off. They deserve it. They deserve to be happy. But what would really make Dean happy is finally getting his feelings for Cas out in the open.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here's just a little drabble I've been thinking about. It's already a lot longer than I planned. But let me know if you guys want me to finish or nah

They clung to each other like their lives depended on it. Rarely had Dean ever let his emotions take hold like this. But after everything he’d been through, he felt like he deserved it. No one said a word about it. It felt like an eternity before he finally let go of Cas, yet it still wasn’t long enough. Then he hugged Sam, then Jack, then Mom. Even Charlie and Bobby let him give them quick hugs. They knew he had given a lot for their Alternate Reality. Even though they weren’t his Charlie and Bobby, he let himself pretend one last time before he had to say Goodbye to them for good.

What hurt the most was when Mom decided to go with them. It seemed like he was always losing someone. Deep down he knew she didn’t belong with him and Sam. In her head she was still in heaven with her loving husband and two adoring little sons. It hurt her to see them so grown up and broken. They were everything she never wanted them to be. He was just a disappointment all around. At least this way she would be helping people like she wanted. Maybe she would even get another shot at life, though it made his stomach boil at the thought it could be with Ketch. Just because they had come to a mutual understanding, didn’t mean he wanted him as a new Step-Dad.

Jack had regained his powers, opened the rift, and saw everyone through safe and sound. With the power coursing through his veins, he was getting pretty good at it. Maybe in time he would open the rift again so Sam and Dean could see their Mother. In fact he was counting on it or he never would’ve let her leave. Not for good. Along with his rapidly developing powers, the Angels thought he was their best shot at creating new Angels. Heaven depended on it. For once, Dean had faith.

All that was left was Dean, Sam, and Cas. Even with everything he lost, he felt like he still had so much. This time he wasn’t about to let it go. For a long time he had been struggling with his feelings, for obvious reasons. For one, he was the ultimate playboy. Or at least he had been, once upon a time. Now the only thing he wanted was to settle down, and he couldn’t think of a better person to do it with than his best friend. Another problem was that Cas was a man. Well, at least he was in a man’s body. He was a celestial being. A wavelength. He had no true gender, which was a mind-boggling thought itself. But over the years, he realized that Cas could be in any body, and they would still be where they were right now. With Dean head over heels, hoping his Angel felt the same way.

All the times he died, all the times Cas died, everything they’d been through together. ‘We need you. I need you.’ He meant it as much back then as he did now, even if he hadn’t been as willing to admit it. It had been such a slow build that Dean didn’t even realize what was happening until it was too late. He lost Cas over and over again. Then every time he got him back, there was too much on his plate to do anything about it. But the truth was that he was scared. He didn’t want to be afraid anymore. The world was always on the verge of an apocalypse… He wanted to make the most out of his life now, before the next one started. Dean had already given up so much, he deserved to get a little in return.

Both Cas and Sam noticed the difference in how he was acting, but neither of them said anything about it. They didn’t need to, he could see it on their faces. They seemed so happy, and to him that was more important than his own happiness. He was drinking less, laughing more. Finally, he worked up the courage to start trying to show Cas just how much he meant to him.

The first time he touched Cas was out in public. The three of them sat at a table in some half-decent diner. While Cas didn’t need to eat, and didn’t particularly enjoy the taste of food anymore, he still ate with them. He claimed it was to ‘fit in’ and ‘appear normal’, but Dean suspected otherwise when Cas ordered a burger medium rare. His vessel still loved meat. As they ate and talked, Dean couldn’t keep his eyes off Cas. It was like he was noticing everything for the first time and really, truly appreciating it. The dazzling blue eyes, the way his lips turned up in a smile. Even the stubble on his face made Dean’s heart throb.

Sam had been talking about something happening in the news. It wasn’t important enough for Dean to care that he was missing it. He watched Cas bring the mildly bloody burger to his lips and take a big bite. When he pulled it away, there was a smidge of mayo on his cheek. Before Sam could even point to it to tell Cas to wipe it off, Dean’s hand was already on the move. He swiped it off the Angel’s stubble, which was much softer than he had expected it to be, and brought it to his mouth to lick his finger clean. It took all his willpower not to laugh at how Sam choked on his drink or the wide-eyed look plastered to Cas’s face.

“Not bad. But everyone knows ketchup goes on burgers, not mayo.” Dean said before shoving his face full of food. Cas still looked confused. He started to think he overstepped his boundaries.

“Dean I’ve seen some of the things you put on your food, you can’t complain about a little mayonnaise.” Sam quickly filled the silence.

“Wasn’t complaining. Just stating facts. If he’s going to eat, he might as well do it right. Who knows more about food than me? Not you. Just sit there and eat your rabbit food.”

“Jerk.”

“Bitch.” It felt good to laugh again.

The second time he touched Cas was nearly a week later. It took longer to work his courage back up than he thought it would. For the entire week Sam had been eyeing them intensely. As if he expected the two of them to start making out at any second. Dean wished that were the case. The silent support was nice though.

They were in the kitchen, Dean’s favorite hangout spot. As soon as Dean walked in the room, Sam started fidgeting in his chair, like he had been doing all week. It was moderately annoying, but also kind of funny. It was also the last bit of encouragement he needed to make another move on Cas.

“No food? Why are you guys in my kitchen if you’re not making me food?” He asked as he strolled across the room, wrapped tightly in his favorite robe.

“I’m not your chef, Dean.” Sam rolled his eyes. It was an argument they had a lot, but that was only because Sam was so good at cooking. Sam also hated cooking.

“You should be. I’d pay you.”

“With what money? All you have is fake credit cards and stolen money.” Sam had his ultimate bitch face on. He hadn’t realized he missed it that much until it was in front of him once again.

“Hey, I earned that money fair and square. I’m not a thief. As for the cards…Well they’ll either learn or I’ll keep getting free money.”

Dean stopped in front of Cas, giving him a once over. His hair was out of place and trench coat rested at an odd angle. He looked sexy like this. Flustered, vulnerable. As much as Dean wanted to keep seeing him like that, he took the opportunity to get physical again instead. Reaching out, he grabbed the collar of Cas’s overcoat to straighten and flatten it out, making sure to spend a little more time than necessary just to enjoy the closeness. Ignoring the deer in headlights look on his friends face, Dean reached up to fix Cas’s hair next. It was the softest hair he ever had the pleasure of touching. Again, he spent way too long trying to put his hair back in place.

When it finally did what Dean wanted it to do, his heart was pounding in his chest. They were close enough to kiss, and as much as Dean wanted it, he turned and walked to the fridge instead. He rummaged for a few seconds before grabbing two hardboiled eggs and closing the door. When he turned around, he had to bite his inner cheek to keep from laughing. Cas looked like the worlds most confused puppy. It was utterly adorable. Sam on the other hand looked like he was about to open a flood gate of questions and accusations, which he took as his cue to leave.

The rest of his day was spent in his room, planning on what to do next. He knew he couldn’t keep sending subtle hints Cas’s way. Cas wasn’t one for subtlety, he never had been. Dean was sure he could keep doing what he was doing for a very, very long time before the Angel caught on. The only problem was that if he was direct about it, that opened up the possibility of rejection. It wasn’t something he could handle. Not from Cas.

The worst part was that he didn’t even know how Cas felt about him. He was always saying things like He and Dean had a more profound bond than he and Sam have, but that was back when they were friends. Back before Dean really came to terms with how he truly felt. The feelings just kind of snuck up on him one day, but he wasn’t sure if the same had happened with Cas. He wished it did. On one hand, he told himself that Cas was an Angel, he might not even have the capability of feeling the same way Dean did, ever. But on the other hand, his brain screamed at him that Cas gave up everything he had for Dean. How is that not the biggest act of love? The only other person who cared for him like that was Sammy, and that was brotherly love. There was a possibility that Cas’s feelings for Dean were purely brotherly, too. Dean thought that was probably worse than Cas feeling nothing for him at all. Brotherly love wasn’t something he could ever change into romantic love.

So he decided that safest thing to do would be to hint around with Cas a little bit more. Cas had come a long way, maybe he would realize what Dean was trying to do. Either that or Dean would do something stupid like kiss his beautiful Angel.


	2. Chapter 2

“Dean…” Sam’s voice was a mix of controlled anger and disbelief.

“Sammy!” Dean countered with as much energy as he could muster. For about a week Dean had been making moves on Cas… The way a child might. And Sam had been around for almost all of it, growing more and more impatient. It was the most fun Dean had in a long time.

“Don’t you think we should talk about that?” Sam’s hand flew out toward the hall Cas had just disappeared down. 

“Oh what, that? He’ll keep it’s cage clean and feed it, he’s not a child. You’ll never even know it’s here. It’s a guinea pig, not a dog.”

Dean didn’t even really plan on getting it on his way out. But he remembered a story Sam had told him some time ago, about Cas’s fascination with the animal… and, well, it was either that or a bee hive. Something told him Sam would’ve been much angrier about the later.

“What? No. That’s not the point. You know what I’m getting at, so stop avoiding it. We’re going to have to talk about it eventually.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. But if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go see how Cas and his little buddy are doing.”

“Yeah I bet you are.” Sam mumbled. Luckily Dean’s back was towards Sam so he couldn’t see the little smirk that crept across his face. Dean meant it one way, Sam meant it another. He liked Sam’s version much better.

Dean was still on cloud nine from giving Cas the gift. The smile he received was more than enough to make the trouble of picking out the perfect Guinea Pig worth it. The way Cas practically squeezed the life out of Dean was just a bonus. But the best part was the pure joy he saw in his Angels eyes. It was a look that he rarely ever saw. Dean made a promise to himself that he was going to try harder in the future to keep that look on Cas’s face as much as possible.

Dean made his way to Cas’s makeshift room. Just like a regular bedroom, it had a bed, a dresser, a nightstand, and even a table in the corner. However, the bed was unslept in, the dresser was empty, and the only thing on the nightstand was the mixtape Dean gave Cas. With some of the greatest hits of all time on it, he was proud that it was on display. The table now housed a guinea pig cage so large that it practically covered the whole surface. Cas sat on the bed, cupping the small animal in his hands.

“I like this very much, Dean.” Cas said without looking up from his pet.

“I thought you might. Did you give it a name yet?” Dean asked, making his way over to sit on the bed, slightly closer to Cas than he normally would. Cas was quiet for a while, still not glancing in Dean’s direction.

“Lennan.”

“Lennon? Like John Lennon? From the Beatles.” The Beatles were nice, but Dean just didn’t get why Cas would pick that for a name.

“No, Lennan. With an A. Its an old Gaelic name.” Cas explained before his eyes flashed up to Dean’s. “But if you prefer Lennon, that that’s what we’ll name him.”

Dean was so caught up in over thinking the fact that Cas said ‘We’ll name him’, that he couldn’t talk for what seemed like an eternity. He loved the thought of ‘We.’ Then the realization hit him.

“Woah, no. Lennan with an A is a good name. I just only have the one reference on how to spell it.” Dean reached out to pet the Guinea pig. It’s fur was soft, but not as soft as the hands holding the animal. It was an honest accident, brushing up against Cas’s skin like that, but Dean was glad it happened. He wondered how much he could get away with touching before he got called out on it. Cas was naive, but he wasn’t an idiot.

“He’s beautiful.” Cas said, admiring the small rodent in his hands.

“He is.” Dean replied, only he wasn’t looking at the Guinea Pig anymore, he was staring at Cas, taking in all his features. The slight crinkles around his eyes, the unchanging stubble on his face, the way his body seemed to slump in relaxation for once.

“Dean…” Maybe Dean was imagining it, but he could’ve sworn the way Cas said his name was a lot more… sensual… than he was used to. Maybe it wasn’t real, but the tingle that when straight to his cock definitely was. Big blue eyes stared intensely into his soul. “Thank you.”

“No problem.” Dean couldn’t stop his voice from cracking, like some prepubescent teenager. He was impossibly close to Cas. Close enough to kiss. If he moved in just a few inches, he could do it. Instead he froze. Then like the giant idiot he was, Dean found himself pulling away rapidly. He was on his feet and three steps away before he could even realize what his body was doing. “So, uh, I have to go out and get dinner. Sam wants something from that new place in town. Want anything?”

“No.” Again, asking Cas was simply a formality. He didn’t need food, and he rarely ate it for fun anyways. It was a shame that was Dean’s default for being so uncomfortable… Asking about food. He thought he saw a touch of hurt in Cas’s eyes as he backed out of the room. It made his stomach do flips. What was Cas upset about? Could it be that he wanted that kiss too? Well it was too late now. Dean stood on the other side of the closed door with his head in his hands. He was a coward.

It was the perfect opportunity, and he backed out. They had been close enough that Dean could feel the Angel’s breath on his face. But Dean chickened out. He should turn around, walk through that door and kiss Cas with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns, because that’s the only thing he could think of doing. Instead he let his shame and embarrassment carry him down the hall and into his own room. Throwing himself down on the bed, Dean stared at the ceiling, reliving what had happened.

Maybe Cas knew what Dean wanted to do. Maybe Cas knew that Dean was calling him beautiful, and not the Guinea Pig. Maybe Cas wanted that kiss as much as Dean. But Dean just couldn’t be sure, and the more he thought about it, the more unsure of himself he was. The last thing he wanted to do was ruin everything he tried so hard to build with the Seraph. He just wanted Cas so bad that it was killing him not to be able to have him here and now…Which was an erotic thought in itself.

The idea of being able to have Cas anywhere in the bunker at anytime. Cas naked in bed… pants around his ankles in the hall… bent over a table… sprawled out in the backseat of Baby… the possibilities were endless, and endlessly erotic. It wasn’t the first time he pulled out his cock to thoughts of Cas, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. In his minds eye he was back in Cas’s room, he never left. Only this time he leaned in for that kiss instead. As his hand stroked his cock, slowly at first, he pictured laying Cas back into that bed and covering his face and neck with kisses. He wondered what that stubble would feel like against his lips. No doubt it would be amazing.

Dean had never seen Cas naked, but from the few times he saw his angel without that trench coat on, he got a fairly good idea what was underneath all that. He was also fairly sure he’d like it. His hand stroked faster as he imagined Cas’s naked body pressed up against his own. Rutting together like animals. Cas’s big, blue, pleading eyes staring into Dean’s soul. Out of all the times Dean touched himself to thoughts of Cas, those blue eyes were usually what got him off the fastest. He had developed some sort of kink for them. Dean would kill to be able to see Cas staring up at him with a mouth full of cock. At that thought, Dean’s body tensed up as he came all over his fist and shirt. The shirt that he never pulled up, so now he would have to change it.

He’d change it as soon as he got up. And he’d have to get up eventually to go get food, like he said he would. Maybe Sam didn’t want to try that new place like he told Cas, but Dean definitely did. Even though his stomach rumbled, he still stayed on his back, looking at the ceiling. With all the sexual scenarios he pictured Cas in, his mind always came back to one that was slightly different, and probably his favorite. It was one where he had the best night’s sleep wrapped in Cas’s arms. Maybe that would be enough of an incentive to show Cas how he felt about him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just because I've been away for a while, here's another update.

Dean woke up drenched in sweat. It was another Michael nightmare, they still came form time to time, though less frequently than they had when Michael first left. By the time he was out of bed and down the hall into the kitchen, he didn’t even remember what the dream was. Just Michael and not being in control of his own body. He chugged a glass of water first, then grabbed a beer from the fridge. It was something weird and foreign that Sam picked out. It didn’t taste great, but it had a higher alcohol content than any regular beer he usually had.

“Dean.” Cas’s voice rang out softly from the doorway, making him jump slightly.

“Cas. Don’t do that. I’ll have to tie a bell to you.” Huh. A nice little collar with a bell. Cas would look delicious in a variety of costumes.

“My apologies. I was going to leave a note, but since you’re up, I’ll just tell you. Jack is making progress and he requested my presence in Heaven.”

“That’s great.” Dean forced a smile to his face. Great for Jack. Great for the Angels. Great for Heaven and all the souls at stake. Not great for Dean because now Cas was going to leave him again, for God knows how long. “When do you leave?”

“As soon as possible.” Cas shifted from one foot to the other, still hovering around the doorway. “I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, and Heaven in this state is no place for a Guinea Pig. Can you take care of Lennan for me?”

His voice seemed so…fragile. Like he expected Dean to say no. As if Dean wouldn’t do anything and everything Cas asked him to do. Dean just nodded and took a swig of his beer, looking down at the table.

“Dean, if it’s too much trouble, I can ask Sam.”

“Woah, hey.” Dean cut him off, offended. “I said I’d do it. Food, water, clean his cage. Simple enough.”

“Dean…” Cas’s voice was so gentle. He wondered what it would be like to have that voice whispering sweet nothings in his ears. Dean had to shake the thought from his head. He was supposed to be hurt, not horny.

“The lady from the store told me the basics. We’ll be all good. Promise.” Dean got up and put his empty bottle in the sink. Tomorrow Sam would rinse it out and recycle it, then yell at him for not doing it himself. Dean tried to brush past Cas, but he stood firmly in place, looking at him with curiosity. “What?”

“I shouldn’t be gone long.”

“It’s fine. Take your time. Check up on Jack.” Dean told him, and he meant it. He wanted to make sure Jack was doing ok in Heaven. A lot rested on his shoulders now. “Tell him we’re proud of him, Me and Sammy.”

“He’ll be glad to hear it.”

They locked eyes for what felt like an eternity. Cas’s face was unreadable as usual. Dean was having an internal conversation, talking himself into doing something. Anything. Finally he made up his mind. He leaned in and pulled Cas into a hug. For a brief, horrifying second Cas did nothing. Dean was about to let go when he felt strong arms wrap around his body and squeeze him in return. The pair stayed like that longer than they should’ve. Longer than friends were supposed to. Longer than they ever had before. But Dean didn’t care. He clung to Cas like his life depended on it. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew that every time Cas left him something bad happened. He couldn’t bare it anymore. He made up his mind then and there that as soon as Cas was back, he would tell him exactly how he felt. Or probably show him. Dean had never been great with words. 

………………………………................................................................................................

The first day Cas was gone, Dean pretended he was fine. He told Sam what happened, and dodged all questions Sam asked that even remotely hinted that he was upset about it. The second day, Dean slept. He slept and slept and slept some more. The only down side was that because of it, he was awake all through the night, tossing and turning, occasionally glancing at his phone to see if Cas had texted him any updates. He didn’t. Finally he got up and lumbered down the hall to Cas’s room and sat on his bed.

Cas didn’t sleep, but the bed still smelt like him. A scent Dean had grown quite fond of over the years. He never really could describe it. He wondered if Sam could pick it out from a crowd like Dean could…Probably not. He curled up with a pillow and laid there, breathing in the smell of Cas and clean blankets. Even though he had the time to do so, he still hadn’t given it a lot of thought as to what he would do when his Angel returned. It all seemed so overwhelming. Right now Dean was just working on not talking himself out of expressing his feelings for Cas. He could do it. He would do it. No matter how much the thought twisted his stomach into knots.

A soft squeak from the table snapped him out of his thoughts. Two black eyes stared back at him in the dim light of the room. Lennan stared at him, unblinkingly. It was mildly unsettling, but Cas loved that thing, so Dean didn’t mind too much.

“I hope that means you miss him too. Probably not as much as me, huh, Buddy?” Dean sat up to talk to the Guinea Pig. It was almost comical, even to him. But he felt like if he didn’t talk to someone about it, his mind would eat away at itself. So it was either this over grown hamster or Sam. “He’ll be back soon… I hope.”

He held Lennan for a while, trying to be as gentle with the creature as Cas had been. Dean had no such luck. Eventually he locked him back into his cage and made his way back to his own bed. God forbid he fall asleep in Cas’s bed. Sam would never let him hear the end of it. That was a battle he couldn’t afford to lose. Not yet anyways.

The third day he worked on Baby. Rotating tires, doing an oil change. Everything that needed to be done, even if it was a little sooner than he normally would’ve done it. Anything to keep himself occupied. He finished by giving her a nice, throughout wash. The whole time he kept picturing Cas washing Baby, booty shorts and tied shirt, the whole works. It was enough to make him blush. Maybe someday he could see it. That would be nice.

That night he took a short nap in Cas’s bed, making sure to sneak back to his own room before Sam woke up. Once again he had a little chatting session with Lennan, feeling only slightly less ridiculous this time. Dean had to remind himself that it was alive and living things liked interaction with other living things. Therefore that must mean Lennan liked talking to him. Or at least that’s what he kept telling himself.

The fourth and fifth day were kind of a blur. Dean had run out of things to do. Well, actually, he ran out of the will to do anything other than drink. So that’s what he did. He tried a couple bars, but the women just seemed to flock to him, and he was tired of batting them away. So he ended up at a liquor store, and bought more than he would need in a week. Sam was pissed. That’s the only thing Dean remembered other than the burn of his throat with every sip he took. Eventually he stopped feeling it.

At some point Dean had convinced himself that if he fell asleep, he would die. So he did the only reasonable thing he could think of. He called Cas. No answer. He called again. And again. And again. Finally he was so fed up with being ignored that he threw his phone, laughing at the way it ricocheted off his bed, landing on a pile of clothes on his floor. Stumbling out of bed, whiskey in hand, Dean made his way to Sam.

“SAMMY!” Dean said in what he thought was a normal voice at his Brother sitting at the kitchen table.

“Dean. You’re drunk. How many bottles have you had?” Sam looked at him and shook his head in disappointment. Oh well.

“Dunno.” Dean genuinely couldn’t think of an answer. Even in this state he knew ‘too many’ wasn’t going to be as funny to Sam as it was to Dean.

“Yeah, maybe it’s time to stop.” Sam tried reaching for the bottle, but Dean just smashed it to his lips and drank. Finally it was forcefully ripped from his grasp. “Sit down.”

Dean was manhandled into a chair. The three Sam’s in front of his spun in a dizzying pattern. Dean decided to focus on the middle one before even that became too much and he had to close his eyes.

“You can’t do this anymore, Dean. You’re too old to get drunk like this. You’re going to be in hell tomorrow.” Sam said. Dean felt a hand on his shoulder. Probably to keep him upright in the chair.

“Already in hell.” Dean told him. It was the truth. Life without Cas was hell. He was waiting for the other shoe to drop, he knew it wouldn’t be far behind.

“You gotta tell me what’s wrong, Man. You can’t keep doing this. Is it Cas?”

“I miss him.” Dean looked up at his Brother, but couldn’t focus long enough. His head plopped back down onto his crossed arms on the table.

“You don’t say. Do you want to tell me why you miss him so much?”

“Cuz I love him, Sammy. And I didn’t get to tell him. Now he’s gone. Who knows how long! I tried calling him, he wont answer.”

“Good. You don’t need to talk to him like this.” This time Dean opened his eyes to see a smirk on Sam’s face.

“What’s so funny?”

“I can’t believe you finally admitted you’re in love with Cas, and you’re not even going to remember it tomorrow.”

“You know I love him?” Dean was utterly shocked. He had no idea who told Sam that. “Does he know?”

“I’m not sure he does. You should tell him. I’ve got a feeling he feels the same way, Dean.”

That was the best news Dean had heard in a long time. So good that he got up to hug his Brother and nearly face planted on the ground. Thankfully Sam was a lot stronger than he looked. He felt himself being held up in strong arms, and guided down the hall. Dean saw flashes of Sam’s flannel shirt and bits and pieces of the hallway. The last thing he remembered was the door to his bedroom opening, then everything went black.


	4. Chapter 4

The only thing more confusing than not remembering the night before, was not knowing why you didn’t have the raging hangover that came with it. Dean sat up, stretched, and felt fine. No headache, no nausea, no desperate need for a swift death. It was odd. There was no doubt in his mind that he got absolutely smashed the night before, but there was know lingering effects now. The only thing he could think of was that Cas must’ve healed him. Which meant Cas was here. Dean felt giddy. Cas was here. Which meant he must be fine. Relief flooded over him. After a quick shower, he made sure to brush his teeth extra good, spend a little extra time trying to fix his hair, and he even picked out his best looking flannel. The only reason he knew it made him look his best was because girls fawned over him when he wore it. Hopefully Cas would too. Just incase Dean decided to make his move today. That was the plan after all, hopefully he didn’t chicken out.

 

The door to Cas’s room was open. Dean peered in on the way by. Lennan had fresh food and water, only further proving Cas had returned. A blush rose to his cheeks as he noticed that the bed was still a mess from laying in it. Well… if Cas brought it up, that could be the perfect way to bring up how madly in love with him he was… Just less awkward. He really should work out the wording to avoid embarrassing himself. But since he’s never been good with words, Dean figured it would be a lot better to just wing it.

 

Dean eventually landed in the kitchen, pleased to see both Sam and Cas at the table, coffee in hand, chatting. They looked so domestic. Dean’s heart swelled at the thought of them being one little happy family. The pair didn’t notice him at first, so Dean just hung in the doorway to watch them. Every time Sam took a sip of his coffee, Cas would wait a few seconds, then follow suit, regarding his cup with a disappointed look each time. Dean knew Cas couldn’t truly enjoy the coffee. Sam knew it too. Yet every morning Sam would make them both a cup. It was some unspoken ritual they had. A way to bond, Dean assumed. It was nice.

 

“Back so soon?” Dean finally spoke when he heard a lull in their conversation.

 

“Dean.” Cas’s entire body shifted to face him. He could feel those beautiful baby blues on him. Hopefully that meant Cas was enjoying what Dean was wearing as much as he hoped he would.

 

“So I remember seeing the bottom of two bottles last night, but there’s a lot more empty ones on my bedroom floor. And I feel fine. I assume you had something to do with that?” Dean grabbed the cold cup of coffee left on the counter for him and sat next to Cas, making sure to scoot his chair closer to the Angel than was reasonably expected. He ignored the goofy ass grin on his Brothers face.

 

“Sam contacted me. He said you needed help...and you did. Dean you looked terrible. I’m glad you’re feeling better. Which leads me to my good news.” Cas’s smile was so wide, Dean couldn’t possibly imagine what the good news was. The only thing he knew was that he wanted a picture of that beautiful, happy face to keep tucked away in his wallet. He was in the middle of that thought, when suddenly Cas was gone. There one second, gone the next. Dean swiveled his body, looking wildly around for the Angel, spying him in the very corner of the room. Cas’s smile had grown even wider. “I got my wings back!”

 

“That’s amazing! How?”

 

“Jack. He’s restored the angels wings.” Cas popped out of existence, and back next to Dean. “And his first new angel was successful. He’s in the process of working on another one. It’s hard work and takes time. But he did it, Dean. Jack is restoring Heaven.”

 

Cas was so happy. So thrilled. So excited. Radiating so much positive energy, that Dean didn’t even realize what he was doing until Cas was already in his arms. Dean just held him in that embrace, squeezing tight, glad when he received that same treatment in return. As much as he wanted to never have to let go, Dean kept the hug brief. He could feel Sam’s eyes boring into him, though he refused to look his way at all.

 

“Man, I’m glad to hear that. And here I was worried you’d go and get yourself into trouble again.” Dean meant it in a joking way. He had been so worried that something bad would happen to Cas. Something bad always happened to Cas every time he went off on his own. Not this time. But clearly Cas didn’t find it funny. As Cas’s face dropped, so did Dean’s heart. “But you’re back now and that’s all that matters.”

 

“Yes. Hopefully for a while. Jack seemed to be doing just fine when I left. He wants me to assure you that he misses you both very much.”

 

“Yeah well, we miss him too. Isn’t that right, Sammy?” Dean finally spared his Brother a glance. Sam looked positively ecstatic. A foggy memory of the night before lingered in Dean’s mind, just out of his grasp. He knew Sam had to carry him to bed… But that was it. It sounded like bad news.

 

“No, yeah, of course. It’s not the same without him around. I hope he visits soon.” Sam said, shifting his eyes between Dean and Cas. If Cas had been a little less clueless, he would’ve been able to tell why Sam was looking at them like that. Dean was thankful for once that the Angel was so naïve.

 

“Doubtable. But, I’ll pass on the message next time I see him.”

 

Cas was closer to Dean now. He wasn’t sure when it happened, or which one of them had been drifting closer to the other. Dean wasn’t pulling away. He just put his elbow on the table, and leaned his body towards Cas more, trying to snuff out the shiver that ran through him as he felt his side finally make contact with the body next to his. If Sam’s eyes could’ve bugged out of his head, Dean was sure they would be. Instead he just watched the pair and impatiently sipped at his coffee. The conversation flowed naturally, mainly between Sam and Cas, with Dean throwing in a thought here and there. At some point the pressure on his side grew, indicating that Cas was leaning in to him, too. Dean couldn’t help but smile. Finally, Sam got up to leave, claiming something about a busy day with shopping and… And Dean didn’t really know what else. He only felt mildly guilty for not really listening to what his Brother was saying.

 

Dean straightened himself up, missing the body contact already. Turning to face Cas, he was immediately swept up in those big blue eyes. So big. So blue. So beautiful. If he had his way, he’d be looking into those eyes at all hours of the day.

 

“Dean.” Cas’s gravelly voice knocked him out of his trance.

 

“Cas.” Dean replied, letting his own voice take on a more sensual tone. Not full on suave, but he wanted to see if Cas would at least notice the difference. He did. The angels head tilted to the side ever so slightly, letting his mouth open just the tiniest bit. What Dean wouldn’t give to shove his tongue it that small opening. “How are you feeling? You got your wings, your mojo.”

 

“I feel better than I have in a long time.” Cas’s smile was soft and sweet. Dean wanted to snatch those lips with his own. But not yet.

 

“I’m glad to hear it, buddy.” Buddy. Baby. Would Cas even notice if Dean slipped that in there instead? He couldn’t bring himself to do it. Just the thought made his hands tingle.

 

“You have something on your mind.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement. Cas could tell Dean’s thoughts were going a mile a minute. He didn’t ask for an explanation either. Probably because Dean never gave him one in the past for anything. This time he had no choice. He told himself that he would tell Cas how he felt, now he was going to do it, no matter what.

 

“I was talking to Lennan,” Dean started out, an idea forming in his head. “He said you need a broader selection of music to listen to, so I’m working on another tape for you.”

 

Another mixtape. Another chance to give Cas some sappy love songs. Only this time he wasn’t going to shove one in the middle and hope it seemed casual enough. This time he was going to do it right. A true mixtape to show his interest. It was his last attempt at being passive enough that Cas could still let him down easy if need be.


	5. Chapter 5

The thought and effort Dean put into making a tape for Cas was more work than he’d put into trying to woo someone than he’d done in a very long time. First he made a list of every romantic song he could think of. Then he narrowed it down. At first it wasn’t easy, but then he just picked some of the sappiest songs he could that reminded him of Cas. Songs that radiated the same energy as he felt when he looked at Cas. Songs that would embarrass the Hell out of him if Sammy ever heard. It wasn’t long before he had what he thought was a pretty decent romantic gesture, full made and labeled.

The front simply said ‘Cas’, nothing more. It was for him, so why not? It was everything Dean wanted to tell Cas. His heart on a plate. A silly romantic gesture that he hadn’t done for anyone before. If Cas still didn’t get it after this, then Dean was out of options. 

The mixtape itself contained only 11 songs. Less than the original one Dean gave to his Angel, but with far more meaning. It wasn’t Dean’s favorite songs from his all time favorite band anymore, now it was much more personalized. It was purely Dean trying to confess his feelings. He just hoped Cas approved of the song choice. It wasn’t in the best order, and most of his time was trying to figure out which song to put where. Finally Dean got a semblance of something he thought was half decent. Thankfully Cas was painfully unfamiliar with mixtapes, so if this one was a little choppy, he might not notice.

 

1\. From the Beginning - Emerson, Lake, and Palmer  
2\. I believe in you - Stryper  
3\. Angel - Aerosmith  
4\. Faithfully - Journey  
5\. Is this Love - Whitesnake  
6\. Love of a Lifetime - Firehouse  
7\. I want to know what Love is - Foreigner  
8\. Open Arms - Journey  
9\. Keep on Lovin’ You - REO Speedwagon  
10\. Nothings Gonna Stop Us Now - Starship  
11\. All of my Love - Led Zeppelin

 

Dean was confident in his song choices. Dean was confident in walking up to Cas’s door and knocking. Dean was confident in handing it over and casually telling him to listen to it whenever he got the chance. Dean was confident. So why was he sweating so much? Why was his heart beating like a hammer in his chest? At first he sat in his room, waiting. Waiting for Cas to come to him confused, or angry, or disgusted. Dean was waiting for anything, really. He had little expectations as to how Cas would react. But after an hour, he decided he couldn’t wait anymore. Wandering back down the hall, he heard soft music coming from the other side.

“All of my love, all of my love, oh all of my love to you.”

‘All of My Love’ by Led Zeppelin. The one song he had been too afraid to put on the previous mixtape, instead replacing it with ‘Thank You’ solely because it talked about a lady, and he hoped Cas wouldn’t read too much into it. He left it as the last song because it meant a lot to him, and, well, he wanted to save the best for last. The last song on the tape. Cas was almost done. If he didn’t realize Dean’s intentions now, then Dean might actually punch something out of frustration. As the song came to an end, Dean backed up, incase Cas came out to find him. Instead he heard the tape restart from the beginning. Cas was going to listen to it again. He didn’t know if that should make him happy or nervous. It would help if he could find something to take his mind off it. Food. Food was usually distracting.

In the kitchen, Dean got to work, preparing a meal. Sam was the good cook, but Dean was the one who enjoyed doing the work. Sure his food didn’t come out nearly as good, but it was edible, and Sam always appreciated a meal. It was the perfect distraction. Thankfully Sam went shopping. The fridge was stocked with food. It wasn’t ideal that it was all super healthy, but if Sam shopped, Sam got what he wanted. And that was rarely ever junk food.

“Chicken it is, Sammy.” Dean mumbled to himself as he took out all the ingredients he would need. Steak would be better. Burgers would be better. Bacon would be better. Sam just tried to reduce Dean’s red meat consumption as much as possible. Why take care of his heart when he could just as easily have Cas clear out his arteries every few months? That was the more desirable option.

After what seemed like forever, dinner was ready. Dean sent a quick text to Sam and Cas, letting them know. Cas hardly ever ate with them, though sometimes he would sit and enjoy their company. He silently wished he wouldn’t tonight. If Cas brought up the songs on the tape in front of Sam, Dean might actually die. Thankfully, Cas was a no show.

He listened to Sam babble on about how good the food was. The compliment made him feel good, though he was sure Sam was playing his cooking skills up a little. The chicken was just a tad bit dry. Either Sam had low standards or didn’t want to hurt Dean’s feelings. Or maybe chicken was just supposed to be that way. Dean didn’t eat it enough to know.

After dinner he cleaned up. He put the food away, did the dishes, wiped down the table. Everything he usually left to Sam. Just so he would have something to do rather than head back to his room where Cas could be waiting for him. His heart sank a little when he got to his room and saw that it was still empty. Hesitantly, Dean snuck down the hall once again. Back in front of the door, Dean heard music once again. Cas was still listening to that tape.

“Baby, You’re my angel, Come and save me tonight. You’re my angel, come and make it alright.”

Dean couldn’t help but chuckle to himself. It was a nice song. Romantic. But he also threw it in there because he just couldn’t help himself. A song about an Angel. It was fitting. It was also the third song. Dean figured this must be the third time he listened to the tape, based on the time that had gone by. Wow. He wasn’t sure how to take that. Should he knock on the door and find out for himself, or should he wait until Cas came to find him? Not ready to deal with the possibility of rejection yet, Dean decided on the later, and headed back down the hall.

He took a brief shower, letting the warm water soothe his tense muscles. The longer Cas took, the more tense Dean was becoming. Dean rarely ever had to offer up his heart and soul like this and he wasn’t really prepared for Cas to reject him. Or worse, not understand the meaning of the tape. Dean really, really, really didn’t want to have to tell Cas outright. The thought made him blush.

When he was dried, dressed in pajamas, and ready for bed, Dean wandered to the kitchen once more for a bottle of water. If he didn’t have one for when he woke up in the middle of the night, parched, he would be angry about having to wander off and find one. The bottle was ice cold, just the way he liked it. If he got too hot, he would just press the coldness to the flesh of his stomach to cool himself down. A tasty beverage and a coolant. It was the perfect thing to bring to bed.

The door clicked behind him and Dean placed the bottle on the stand next to his bed. Before he could climb in, he heard a light rapping at his door and froze. The probability of it being Sam was next to none, which meant it must be Cas. Dean wasn’t sure he was ready for this. Steeling himself, he slunk over to the door, opening it slowly. Sure enough, Cas stood there in the dim hall light, looking confused.


	6. Chapter 6

“Hiya, Cas.” Dean tried to be nonchalant. He wasn’t sure if it was working or not. Cas just stared up at him with those damn eyes. Those beautiful eyes.

“Dean.” This time Dean was definitely sure there was a change in the Angel’s voice. It was huskier, sexier. It sent shivers down his spine. It had been a long time since he felt butterflies in his stomach like this. His nervousness only increased when Cas pushed past Dean and into the room. Dean closed the door behind him and watched as Cas paced slightly back and forth around the room. The light of his lamp barley bright enough for Dean to read the emotions on Cas’s face.

Dean just waited patiently for Cas to say something. It took sometime but eventually he stopped the pacing and looked up at Dean again, walking towards him until there was barley any space between the two. This didn’t look like the actions of someone about to tell Dean to piss off. It also didn’t look like the actions of someone that knew exactly what they were doing there either, so Dean still said nothing. Cas was clearly working through something within himself. Mixed emotions plastered themselves to Cas’s face.

Finally, Cas seemed to reach a decision. He grabbed a fistful of Dean’s shirt and forcefully pulled him close, letting his lips smash against his own. For the briefest second, Dean was too stunned to do anything back. It was basically everything he had been hoping for, yet all of a sudden his entire body had gone weak. He snapped himself out of it, and kissed back, with all the heat and passion that had building up within him since the day he met Castiel.

His hands gripped onto the trench coat in front of him, pulling Cas closer to him, even though they couldn’t physically get any closer. The motion caused them to stumble backward, Dean landing mostly on the bed with Cas hovering messily on top of his body. The eyes that looked down into his own were barley blue. Instead their pupils were blown so wide that there was mostly black looking down at Dean. It was a surprisingly erotic sight. Just knowing how into this Cas was, solely for the fact that his eyes couldn’t hide it. Dean shimmied himself onto the bed fully, motioning for Cas to follow.

And follow he did. Cas moved until he was perched back in his spot over Dean. Their bodies untouching. That wasn’t going to do it for him at all. Dean reached up and tugged at the trench coat, pushing it down from the broad shoulders beneath. He threw it across the room, not bothering to see where it went. The only thing he saw was Cas. Beautiful, vulnerable, and needy. Lips attacked his own again, just as passionately as they had before. Dean reached up for the tie, next. It wasn’t hard to remove, it was barley tied right in the first place.

The string of blue sailed across the room. His hands fumbled with the buttons of Cas’s shirt. It shouldn’t have been that hard, really it shouldn’t. Maybe it was because he wasn’t looking at what he was doing, or maybe his hands were just shaking too much, but it took far too long to get the buttons undone. Once they were, Cas shrugged off his coat and shirt, tossing them to the side and out of view. Dean couldn’t help but steal a glace at the body in front of him. A strong muscled chest. Flawless. Kissable. Dean wanted to leave marks up and down that perfect canvass of skin, though he wasn’t sure it would stay, with Cas healing so fast. It was worth a shot though, but before he could move forward to do so, he noticed the bulge straining against Cas’s dress pants. Reaching out to touch, Dean was surprised when his hands were batted away.

Cas reached down, fiddling with the hem of Dean’s shirt before yanking it up and over Dean’s head with a little too much force, making Dean chuckle. Eager Cas was hot. It made his cock throb from the confines of his pajama bottoms. Before Dean could do anything, Cas was on him again, kissing at the exposed skin. His neck, his collar bone, his chest, his stomach. That made Dean gasp and arch his back up into those soft lips. It was borderline feel good and tickle too much, but he couldn’t get enough of it. The bed shook as Cas kicked his shoes off. He sat up and did his socks next. Dean pulled Cas’s hands away from the belt buckle, opting to do it himself. Dean watched as Cas pulled the pants down and off. The only thing left were a pair of white underwear that did absolutely nothing to hide the straining erection beneath.

“Cas…” Dean breathed out, enjoying the sight before him. He let a hand reach down and give himself a quick rub, unable to resist. Cas was sexy. So, so sexy. Dean let his eyes trail up and down his body. The one thing he had never really expected was for Cas to have the world’s sexiest thighs. Painfully thick, utterly gorgeous. How Dean went all these years not having this body pressed to his, he’ll never know.

“Dean.” Cas’s voice was light for the situation, even giving Dean a wink as he pulled the underwear down, revealing himself in all his glory. Dean felt himself go weak at the wink alone, never mind what followed. Quickly following suit, Dean’s pajama bottoms were flying across the room next. He never wore underwear to bed, so that was one less layer he needed to take off now.

For a second the both sat there devouring the sight of each others bodies, then Cas was on him once again. Only this time there was nothing between them. Dean couldn’t stifle the moan that came out as their cocks touched for the first time.

“Make that noise again.” Cas whispered in his ear before nibbling at the lobe, making Dean twitch in pleasure. Cas rolled his hips against Dean’s again, dragging out another moan. Only this time, a soft noise fell from Cas’s lips, too. God, that was hot.

Dean latched his lips to the flesh in front of him, kissing and nipping at Cas’s neck. Cas just rolled his hips, again and again. Dean was getting close, he knew it. A whimper escaped his mouth as Cas pulled away. Before Dean could say anything, Cas was wiggling down the bed, kissing every inch of Dean’s skin on the way down. Every part of him except the part he wanted touched. Soft lips kissed their way up and down one thigh, then the other. Dean couldn’t help but let a hand snake through the messy hair in front of him. Cas usually had bed head, but now he was going to have full blown sex hair. The thought made his stomach churn. That would look nice. Really nice. A mouth ghosted over his cock, snapping him back to reality.

“Cas, please.” Dean wasn’t afraid to beg. He’d beg Cas for anything. But right this second he needed Cas’s beautiful mouth on his cock. Cas looked up at him, locking eyes as he let his tongue flick out, licking up the entire underside of Dean’s shaft. The way Dean twitched involuntarily made it seem like his cock was slapping Cas’s tongue. That was hot, too. Everything about Cas was so hot. So sexy. Dean wanted all of Cas and he wanted him now.

The mouth that enveloped him was warm, wet. It felt like the best mouth in the world. Dean couldn’t help but lift his hips, trying to push himself in deeper. It was a mistake, however, because Cas pulled off and stared down at him, unamused. Firm hands were placed on his hips holding him in place on the mattress. “Now, Dean, only good boys get rewards. Don’t do that again.”

The pure serious tone in Cas’s voice was nearly enough to make him cum then and there. “Fuck, Cas, where did you learn to talk dirty? I love it.”

Instead of replying, Cas just reattached himself to Dean’s length, taking it all the way down and holding it there for longer than he should be able to. Dean tried so hard not to move. Cas told him not to, but it was hard. Being sheathed in something so god damn delicious and not being able to move was killing him. Damn angels and not having to breathe. Finally, Cas bobbed his head up, then back down. Slowly, so slowly that it was painful to watch. Dean wanted to cum down that pretty little throat, but something about the way Cas was taking control of everything was igniting a flame somewhere deep inside of him. He’d let it burn until it consumed him. And the fire was telling him to be a good boy.

Hands still firmly planted on Dean’s hips, Cas bobbed his head faster, making sure to pull off and lick at it and suck the tip like a certified porn star. Where ever Cas learned to do this deserved a fucking Christmas present. Dean was a little ashamed to admit it was all over way too fast. He gave Cas a fair warning that he was going to come, giving him the opportunity to pull off. Instead Cas nuzzled his nose into the trimmed pubes of Dean’s pelvic bone, letting the cum shoot straight down his throat. Dean’s body felt completely limp. So limp that Dean could barley suck at Cas when he came up and straddled Dean’s chest with those beautifully thick thighs. He tried, he really did. But it ended up with him kneading his fingers into those thighs and licking and sucking at the tip of Cas’s cock while the Angel jerked himself off hard and fast. Dean caught it all in his mouth, not wanting to waste a single drop. The taste was so uniquely ‘Cas’ that Dean knew immediately that he would be doing that again in the future, hopefully repaying Cas for the wonderful job he did tonight.

He couldn’t help but yawn. That had taken all the energy right out of him. Cas moved off him, looking like he was headed off the bed. Before he could get anywhere though, Dean grabbed him by the waist and pulled him back, initiating his position as the big spoon. He smiled into Cas’s hair as his angel relaxed into his grasp. Cas didn’t sleep, and he probably would stay here the whole night, but Dean was going to hold on to him tight for now. They could talk everything out in the morning.

“Goodnight, Cas.” Dean whispered as he kissed the back of Cas’s head, gently smelling the hair there.

“Goodnight, Dean.” Cas replied just as gently, squeezing at the arm that wrapped protectively around him.


End file.
